Hats

The cold weather is closing in on us and the days are getting darker. Add to this the fact that Ivor has been a major fussypants baby the last week or so (this whole screaming-at-all-hours-of-the-day-and-night is a phase we can't wait to see the back of), and this mama's mood has been a lot darker too! Despite lack of sleep and my patience wearing thin, there are a few things keeping me going.

First, the cooler temperatures means that this is hat-wearing weather! This baby may be fussy, but he is also stinking cute- especially in hats. (See photos as evidence to this effect.) The lower temperatures also make this prime baby-wearing weather and Ivor loves being in his sling.

Second, I have Ross on my side. He is constantly encouraging and backing me up. Last night, when I was reduced to tears of defeat, he took screaming Ivor out, so I could sleep for a while in a quiet flat. I don't know how he has the energy to work the chaos of a screaming baby and weepy wife at home, but he doesn't complain. Thank the Lord for such a sweet husband.

Third- did I mention that this baby is stinking cute? When he laughs or flashes a big smile, that frustration I just had a second ago, when he was screaming about absolutely nothing, somehow melts away. And I love seeing all his new 'tricks'.

Lastly, I was just introduced to the 'Wonder Weeks' book. The book basically links sudden spurts of 'bad behaviour', like increased clingyness, crankiness and crying, with developmental milestones in infants. It helps parents to engage with the developmental changes in their baby, rather than just focusing on frustrating behaviours. I am not normally someone that buys into fads or psuedo-science, but when I read the section on Mental Leap 4, I couldn't believe how well it fit with what has been going on with Ivor.

It is obvious Ivor is undergoing a massive developmental 'growth spurt'. In the last two weeks, he has become a totally different baby- rolling around with purpose, vocalising so much more, starting to anticipate things (like how he'll raise his arms when I ask if he wants up) and realise that pushing buttons on his toys produces an effect. I've noticed all these things, but didn't really consider that these changes might also be playing some part in how he's started waking up every hour at night, fussing/screaming during the day for no apparent reason, wanting more cuddles, etc...

Last night I hit my wall. I was exhausted, frustrated and sick that I couldn't seem to comfort my screaming baby. I was sure it was all my fault; I had failed as a mother and couldn’t stop my child’s pain. Knowing that this is just a phase common to many babies has saved me from switching to formula, introducing baby rice, pumping desperately to try and increase my supply, instigating gut wrenching controlled crying sessions, or any other of the poor 'solutions' I could come up with. Instead, I feel like a light bulb has gone off- this too shall pass.

My coping mechanism for now: Let's see another picture of that baby in a hat!