Hyperbole

Is it just me or do we seem to live in a world of hyperbole these days? Maybe it was always like this, but it seems that everything is constantly 'terrible', the 'best ever', etc...

Ivor wants a bike for his 3rd birthday. A blue bike. So being the researcher/planner that I am, I spoke to loads of bike shops and mom friends, and I went to the internet looking for guidance on choosing a bike. I went in looking for advise and suggestions, but came away feeling nervous, anxious and more than a little overwhelmed at the idea of making what now appeared to be a massively significant and life-changing decision.

Nearly every blog and bike-guide seemed to emphasize the importance of choosing the 'right' bike and the consequences of choosing poorly (as if buying the first item in the shop would some how cripple my child, ruin his childhood and make it impossible to EVER ride a bike properly). What I thought was a fun gift hunt had suddenly turned ugly and I felt weighed down with the pressure. I was actually sweating under the stress. (Or perhaps just because the heater in my office was at full blast.)

It took me a good half a day to cool down and realise that actually a bike is just a bike and not some monumental childhood right of passage that gone wrong is going to mess my kid up for all time.

... I think...

Things he says

My son has a lot to say about everything these days. Here are some of our recent conversations:

TOMATO TEA

I: Let's play. I am the Mommy and you are Ivor. Ok?
Me: Okay, "mommy". What are you doing?
I: I am drinking a cup of tea. Here, you can have some juice. Isn't that nice?
Me: Thank you, "mommy". That's very good juice. Do you like your tea?
I: Yes, I am drinking tomato tea.
Me: Tomato tea?
I: Yes. It is tea of tomatoes.
Me: Interesting! I've never had tomato tea before. Can I try some?
I: No, you did NOT eat your vegetables.

DREAMS

Me: Ivor, did you have any dreams last night?
I: Yeah, I did.
Me: What did you dream?
I: About Jesus and angels.
Me: Wow. What did Jesus do in your dream?
I: He was driving a motorcyle and singing. Then a angel appeared suddenly and said, 'Do not be afraid, Mary. You will have a baby and you will name him, Jesus.'
Me: Right. Why was Jesus driving a motorcycle?
I: He just likes motorcycles!

BAD MOOD

Me: You crack me up, buddy.
I: NO. STOP saying that. I am NOT BUDDY. I am IVOR!
Me: Oh, sorry. You're right. You are Ivor.
I: Of course I am right!
Me: I think you are a bit of grouch-a-potamus.
I: MOMMY! I am NOT a GROUCH-A-POTAMUS. I am angy.
Me: Why are you angry?
I: Of course I am angy.
Me: Yes, but why are you angry?
I: Angy is just a feeling! I am feeling. I am NOT PRETEND!

AGES

Me: Ivor. How old are you?
I: I am 2. That is a big boy!
Me: How old is Mommy?
I: I think you are 6. And Daddy is 6.
Me: Did you know that Mommy is actually 30 years old!?
I: But Mommy, I think you are just 6...