Lay down, Slow down

Getting from Point A to Point B with a toddler is never quick and I hate that so much of my time with Ivor on workdays is spent urging him to move 'quickly' or 'hurry up'. We have to catch trains and get to work on time or get home in time for dinner, so a bit of rushing about on these days is unavoidable and I think justifiable.

But it hit me hard to realise that the 'rush, rush, rush' mentality of work days was carrying through to my days at home too. I was spending so much time and energy focusing on all the THINGS I had to do- play dates, errands, chores, endless loads of washing- and not enough time focusing on the little person I was off work to spend time with.

I've been faced with the conundrum that I am sure all working moms face- Things vs people. Laundry needs to get done. Doesn't it? Dishes don't just clean themselves. And how will we eat if I don't spend time shopping and cooking? I can't just ignore the sticky spots on the floor and the stink of the full trash can. Can I?

I don't know how other people answer these pressures, but I have had to come to accept that a clean home doesn't matter as much as I feel it does. I am learning to put down the vacuum and pick up the book my son is asking me to read, to set aside the laundry for a visit to the park, and to let shopping be a two hour excursion where we examine all the fruits and veg and let little eyes expore the bugs and trees we encounter on the way home. 

I am making an effort to lay down my pride in the kind of housekeeper I want to be so that I can pick up the little boy I have. I am learning to sacrifice energy spent on my interests for energy spent on building up the little person entrusted to me.