The new normal

We cuddle

Now that Mom and Dad have returned home and Ross is back at work, I am on my own with Ivor for most of the day. After a week on my own I feel like I am starting to get the hang of life at home with an infant.

I spent a lot of my pregnancy wondering how I would cope with these early days of motherhood. The horror stories people tell you are enough to scare any future/new parent (If I had penny for every warning I've had about sleepless nights, screaming babies and how life will never be the same again, Ivor would have a pretty good start at a college fund), but I've been pleasantly surprised at quite a lot about these first weeks.

First, I've been surprised at how at ease I feel with this little guy. I definitely don't have it all figured out, but I'm enjoying learning and having my arms filled with a tiny person doesn't feel alien at all. (This is a pretty good thing too, because Ivor does not like to be put down and so spends an inordinate amount of time being held. I've had to learn to type, read eat, cook, sleep and dress with at least one arm occupied by a wiggly baby.)

Second, I'm impressed by how quickly you can adapt. Things that felt awkward in those first hours have now become like second nature. For example, breastfeeding. In the hospital, I really struggled to hold Ivor in position to feed- it took all my concentration and both arms/hands, but now I can manage to feed him and myself at the same time (or type and feed). I can even feed him at night while we are both half asleep. Another example is getting Ivor dressed. At first, you are so cautious and nervous manipulating baby's limbs to get them into that onesie and you prefer anything that snaps up the front- It takes you ages to dress that screaming, wiggling tiny one. After pulling off half a dozen soiled outfits in a day (because you still haven't worked out how to prevent leaks), dressing the munchkin requires very little thought.

We cry

Third, it amazes me how one little smile can brighten the most frustrating and exhausting of days. I think baby smiles are like nature's happy drug for parents. One minute you are fed up with this fussy, uncooperative kid. Your body is aching from carrying him around, your head is aching from listening to his cries and you're sure the monotony of life with an infant is about to send you over the edge. When miracle of miracles, you look at him face-to-face and are greeted with a smile and baby coos. The sweetness of a little person smile is balm for even my most anxious mama moments. I can't wait until he starts to laugh!

My new normal is so far from what life looked like just a few short months ago. Sleep is shorter. The house is dirtier. Routine is just a pipe dream. Getting to the grocery store or out for a walk in the park is an achievement. Tears and smiles are both more frequent. And my heart is full of thankfulness for this time I get to spend caring for, learning about and enjoying this little monkey.

We are learning to smile